Vent.

Don't think either of us meant for it to go this far.
We went from strangers, to a relationship that stands way too strong to break at this point. Seems that when things are too real, there's always that ONE thing standing in the way. No matter how much I deny it, I care about you way too much to let go. I don't know how to feel at this point. I'm not crying, I don't have those pains that you get when you're sad, I don't feel emotional..but I will tell you that it DOES hurt. Maybe it is my fault for thinking we would ever go anywhere, but it didn't hurt to hope. Still always caring about you, friends or more than friends, no matter what. Holla when you need me.

Just sucks knowing that I'll always be second best.

If you haven't noticed..

Haven't been on this in a while.
jazmynluong.tumblr.com

Follow.

Ass.

Now I know he ain't healthy for me, but he gets my mind right.

Est.121609

Our song. Muhahhah.

**

I understand you care and all, but stay out of it. I can handle this shit on my own.

Things.

Just kinda died. I guess shit does change. I thought it was gonna be a long time too, but damn, I was so, so wrong. Maybe it's cause I haven't seen you in forever? Whatever the case, it's just not the same. Hasn't been.


On the plus side, I had a fun ass Thanksgiving break. Sucks that I got sick from the H1N1 vaccine, but it didn't phase me :) I found the remedy for being sick, drinking. Not even kidding. Haah. Black Friday was lame. Didn't even go in any stores or buy anything. But it helps when you end the night with people who give you good company. Friday night was nice. Once again with the good company. Oh and bomb pizza thanks to Big Black! And then last night, once AGAIN. I love chilling with you guys. Seriously.

Make Damn Sure.

I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave

No, you won't ever get too far from me.

Silentia.

10 Reasons Why We Hurt the Ones We Love

I love you, but I can’t help hurting you. Why?

1. We’re angry and frustrated with ourselves. By trying to hurt them, we try in fact to hurt ourselves. We think we don’t deserve anything good, so we aim at the good things we have in life and unconsciously try to destroy them.
2. We expect too much from them. We nurture the secret hope that they can help us, that they can do all the things we are not capable of doing; moreover, that they have to do them, because of the lovewe invest in them. When they don’t, we feel disappointed and the natural instinct is to make them regret.
3. They are the ones who have the courage to be honest and tell us the truth, even when it hurts. And even though we know it is the truth, it still hurts and the paincan cause violent reactions.
4. Yes, we love them dearly but there are things about them that annoy us terribly and we know we’re never going to be able to change them. It’s like living with our own body. Sometimes it is a blessing, other times a nuisance. Sometimes it gives us a lot of satisfaction, other times it drives us mad, but there is not much we can do about it cause it’s ours.
5. We feel misunderstood. We wish they could make a journey inside our head and see things the way we see them, just because we think it is the right way. We simply can’t understand why they think differently and how they can miss something that seems so simple and obvious to us.
6. We misunderstand them because we’re not always willing to try to understand them. When we feel tired and tormented, burdened with our own faults and deficiencies, we find it difficult to deal with theirs.
7. We are influenced by what we see and hear on TV. Violence, melodramatic scenes, pain and suffering, self-destruction – they all can leave marks in our subconscious and develop patterns that make us think and react in a certain way. Sometimes we are tempted to do what our favorite soap opera character would do, even if that means hurting the one we love.
8. We love them but in the same time we hate them because they know our weaknesses and there’s no way we can hide. The mask we wear in relation with other people is put aside and all the things we usually try to hide come to the surface.
9. We hurt them to give them comfort later. We all have the inner need to cuddle, to protect the ones we love and we feel we have the right to hurt them for the very reason that we love them so much and we’ll make up for it later.
10. We trust them and we know deep in our hearts that, no matter what we do, they won’t stop loving us. We feel safe to take our frustrations on them because we think there will be no consequences. We hurt them most of the times because they let us hurt them.

Halloweenie.

Wow dude.. Why would you even do that? People have feelings you know...

Anyways, Happy Halloween! I can't believe it's only been a year.. everything's changed. Drastically. Be safe tonight :)

Then..

the millions of "what ifs" run through your mind.

I really hate "what ifs"... a lot.

Love

does crazy things to you.

*

I love you & miss you mamalou.. ): I swear, everyday I'm not with you, Chels, Adine, Alanis, papa Ross, & Arnold.. I feel so incomplete. I hate how it gets to me so much. I hate crying over it every single time. Let's go back & pretend like it never happened. I hate this. Cracking jokes, walking around & everyone sounds the same. Making fun of each other cause we're so gay together. UGHHHH. I freaking miss you man )=

2 can play that game.

It amazes me how gay he is. Hahah.

Even 'til this day.. -_-

Jk, cutes :)

.

I grew up, moved on, and learned not to give a fuck. Learned to love & learned to forgive. Learned to stop being so dependent. Realized that life goes on. Make mistakes, & gain from them on my own. Experience is my best teacher. Always was, always will be.

Stole from Jordan .

The Manila Times
"The One That Got Away"
Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash point of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple... find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Special.

Honestly something great that I'm taking chances with . I have no doubts about this one. At all. I'm seriously not going to mess this up for anything.

October 8.

Happy birthday babes. :)

To whom it may concern

Dear you,
I love how whenever we talk, we go back to our old ways. Like nothing's ever gonna break us apart. Even though at times it's seems different, you don't even know how much I need you in my life. I love you.


Dear you,
If you're happy, I'm happy. But please don't push me out of your life. You told me you weren't gonna do so, and I hope you stick by your word.


Dear you,
Be careful. I'm still kind of disappointed of what I found out, but I know that a good friend needs to be there no matter what. And I'm just tryna be happy for you. Just .. be careful.


Dear you,
I'm glad I finally got that kind of "closure". Something that I don't have to worry about! You really are a sweetie. And I hope that things can only get better from here. But I can tell, they will. Thanks for trying so hard to make me happy.


Dear you,
You don't even go here!


Dear you,
I miss how close we used to be. Sorry if I've ever hurt you in the past. But I never meant to intentionally, and you know I never would. Just wanna say that, I still trust you a lot more than most.

Thanks!

I'd just like to say, THANKS! (= Thanks for a wonderful birthday, I couldn't have asked for more. Unfortunate that I'm sick the day of-and today, but it's okay because all of you made up for it! Thanks for the balloons, cookie cakes, poster boards, comments, texts, calls, IM's, and messages. And also, thanks for the CD, Marvinious! The cute note w/ the ugly picture, Stema! And my favorite flowers, Shannon! Oh and I can't forget, thanks Long for doing the BUFFALO WILD WINGS BLAZIN' WINGS CHALLENGE thing for me. But most of all thank you everyone for your company! <3

Fatty.

And it's just those stupid little smile's I get whenever I read my texts or IM's. I feel lame for it, but I love it.